Hi, all. Going through a bit of a rough patch in the ol' personal life. We e-mailed my wife's ex to figure out the summer schedule for my stepdaughter. The ex's fiancee answered, and unleashed a torrent of accusations (we're terrible parents, we don't know what's going on in her school even though we volunteer there regularly, we're the cause of all the child's problems) and name-calling (white trash, big mamma, oblivious).
The mechanics are taken care of; in our replies, we've stuck to discussing the summer schedule neutrally, and done our best to reassure her that yes, we are in fact extremely involved in our girl's education. So "how to reply" isn't quite my question.
My question is: how do I deal with the aftermath? I mean, of course I felt angry, but even after that subsided, I could still feel the adrenalin coursing through my veins like poison. Even after coming around to think that these attacks must have come from some place of pain, and that being angry with someone in such pain helps neither them nor me, I still feel sick and sore just from having been through that whole little roller coaster ride. And my heart pounds whenever I check e-mail for any completely unrelated reason (only a couple of times a day), even though the discussion is long since over.
I'm not looking for "Awww, poor you; how mean she must be!" types of replies. There are two sides to every story.
What I'm wondering is: do I just wait it out? Observe the soreness, both physical and emotional, as they happen, and believe with as much detachment as I can muster that they will one day dissipate the way our bodies shake off a cold? Do something specific?
Just typing this is helping a little. Anyway, thanks in advance for your wisdom.