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Thread: Modern Vinaya Precepts (Silly Spin-off Alert)

  1. #1

    Modern Vinaya Precepts (Silly Spin-off Alert)

    :!: This is a silly spin-off of the actually very interesting 'Ordination' thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kenneth
    Hi Harry,

    OK, I'll give it a go.

    There were 250 monks precepts and 348 precepts for nuns. Let's assume the latter include the former and since we're all for equality here at Treeleaf let's assume those 348 rules apply to males and females for our purposes. I think the Buddha taught for about 45 years. Also let's assume 2500 years have gone by since then (since there is no real concensus on his dates of birth/death).

    So, we have 348 / 45 = 7.73333 precepts / year.

    2500 years * 7.73333 precepts / year = 19,333.333 precepts.

    Hey, that's not too bad at all, in any case it's a lot less than 740,000 !

    Who wants to think about what they may be and start typing them in for use at Treeleaf???

    Gassho
    Ken
    Ok, here is the scenario:

    The creation of Vinaya precepts did not cease after the Buddha’s death, but rather kept accumulating. As Harry and Ken have suggested, we are now at 19,333 in total. In order to help this important process along (and insure the legitimacy of ordained Monks), what additional Vinaya precepts should be added?

    To get the ball rolling…

    #19,334- Never wear socks in sandals.

    #19,335- You break it, you’ve bought it!

    #19,336- Cell phones off in the meditation hall.

    #19,337- Movie night on Wednesdays.

  2. #2
    # 19,338- No penny loafers with shorts.
    # 19,339- Fridays are casual.
    # 19,340- If the Dharma teacher is five minutes late it's canceled.

  3. #3
    Oh, I had rejected my attachment to parodies and such, but Kelly made me do it. It would be very unbuddhist not to take full responsibility.

  4. #4
    Sorry to poop the party ... but maybe let's not make light of other Buddhist's beliefs?

    There is enough to make fun of about our own ....

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Jundo
    There is enough to make fun of about our own ....
    You mean 9 clay balls?

  6. #6
    Paige refers to Dogen Zenji's very detailed instructions in the Shobogenzo for using the toilet, including wiping using small, damp clay balls about one inch in diameter, an ancient practice. I will be sure to cover that chapter of Shobogenzo sometime in the near future.

    I prefer supermarket brand Charmin.

    Gassho, J

  7. #7
    Awsome. That sounds so strange.I'm going to check it out.

    Gassho

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Jundo
    Paige refers to Dogen Zenji's very detailed instructions in the Shobogenzo for using the toilet, including wiping using small, damp clay balls about one inch in diameter, an ancient practice. I will be sure to cover that chapter of Shobogenzo sometime in the near future.

    I prefer supermarket brand Charmin.

    Gassho, J
    I thought the 9 clay balls were for washing and the poop stick or paper were for wiping. I will have to re-read that chapter when I get back home. The brain is strange how it remembers things sometimes.

    Gassho,
    Jordan

  9. #9
    The shit stick was used in other lineages. Every lineage has its own ancient traditions ...

    http://books.google.com/books?id=ISaR9V ... Y#PPA82,M1

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Jundo
    Sorry to poop the party ... but maybe let's not make light of other Buddhist's beliefs?

    You are correct, my apologies. My first instinct when faced with frustration is humour. But intolerance of intolerance is still intolerance.

    Gassho,
    Kelly

    PS- Clay balls and shit sticks… my girlfriend already thinks I’m odd at times with the Zen quirks I have picked up thus far; me thinks a shit stick in the bathroom would reduce me to a single man.

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Jordan
    I thought the 9 clay balls were for washing and the poop stick or paper were for wiping. I will have to re-read that chapter when I get back home. The brain is strange how it remembers things sometimes.
    Dear Jordan,

    On further checking, I stand corrected. Although the passage (pun intended) is a bit obscure, I believe that seven (7) balls of soil are described for monks in the outdoors, and a lesser number are to be used for washing and drying the anus in the monastery after use of a stick (or series of sticks) "eight sun long (9.6 inches) of triangular section, and the thickness of a thumb, some lacquered and some not". (Senjo)

    So, please do not trust anything I say in the future regarding the Shobogenzo, starting with the Genjo Koan we will discuss today.

    Gassho & Good Hygiene, Jundo

  12. #12
    Thank goodness for modern conveniences :!: The triangular stick thing does not sound pleasant . . . but I suppose if that's all you had . . .

    Bill

  13. #13
    Yep. The 3 sea shell from Demolition man were the first things to come to mind.

    G,W

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