We sit with what is ... with conditions just as they are ... as what is, having become what is ... nothing to add or take away, reject or run toward. That is
Shikantaza Zazen.
We embrace what is, reject none of it and judge none of it ...
even as we take our medicine.
I sometimes describe the attitude toward poor health and the like as
acceptance sans acceptance - precisely blending both views. Imagine a man or woman who, facing an illness, perhaps some cancer, accepts the condition fully - yet fights the good fight for a cure. We need not feel anger within at the natural state which is the disease, we can accept within that all life is impermanent and that death and sickness are just the reality ... but still we might search for the healing medicine, struggling without for health and life and sometimes so afraid. We can know that within and without are not two.
Your condition is perfectly that condition when all resistance is dropped ...
drop all resistance even as we resist (yes, it is a kind of schizophrenic viewpoint ... but a very healthy kind of schizophrenia
:? :cry: )
Attaining such an attitude of "
nothing whatsoever about the condition in need of change" is attaining a tremendous change of attitude ... even as we continue to take our medicine and try to get healthy.