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Thread: How do I help someone who is hurting a lot?

  1. #1

    How do I help someone who is hurting a lot?

    Hello
    I have a friend who is going through one hell of a time, she is hurting a lot. She says she sometimes feel like ending it all. I tried suggesting her to read some zen books. She simply doesnt want to hear all that. She thinks its all hocus pocus. I am not sure what to do. I do talk to her and keep her comfortable, but when she is alone she gets these thoughts. what do I do? It is scary for me as well.
    Please help.
    Thank You all.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Myosha's Avatar
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    Hello,

    Be a friend, call a friend. Ensure professional help is available, for your friend.

    You are loved.


    Gassho,
    Myosha
    Last edited by Myosha; 07-27-2014 at 06:50 PM.
    Practice with humility, respect all beings, avoid attachments, give rise to prajña from your own awareness, put an end to delusions - Hui-neng

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Myosha View Post
    Hello,

    Be a friend, call a friend. Ensure professional help is available for your friend.

    You are loved.


    Gassho,
    Myosha
    Nicely said Myosha!

    Just love and support your friend, but know when professional help is needed.

    Gassho
    Shingen
    倫道 真現

    As a trainee priest, please take any commentary by me on matters of the Dharma with a pinch of salt.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Sridevi View Post
    Hello
    I have a friend who is going through one hell of a time, she is hurting a lot. She says she sometimes feel like ending it all. I tried suggesting her to read some zen books. She simply doesnt want to hear all that. She thinks its all hocus pocus. I am not sure what to do. I do talk to her and keep her comfortable, but when she is alone she gets these thoughts. what do I do? It is scary for me as well.
    Please help.
    Thank You all.
    Don't worry about zen books - that won't help your friend, I don't think, so throw that stuff out for now. Do something she would like or would help her get her out of herself. What about a walk in the park or a day near a river. Something simple and full of ease. You know your friend. Is there anything she once loved but hasn't done in a while? - that sort of thing.

    If it's very serious, like Myosha says, professional help.

    Gassho
    Shōmon

  5. #5
    Senior Member Shawn's Avatar
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    It's difficult to watch a friend suffer, especially when you see that they would benefit from what works for you.

    I have been trying to help my friend as well. I have learned, he must be the one to want to change. I cannot do that for him.

    Perhaps consider taking a suicide intervention course. Most are 1-4 days long. They offer excellent tools.
    If not, keep doing what your doing, go for coffee and be an ear.

    Your a great friend.

    Gassho, Shawn
    I am relatively new to zen. Please keep that in mind and take what I say with a truck load of salt.

  6. #6
    Feel her pain. Hurt with her. Right action will then appear.

    Gassho, Jishin
    治 Ji (Healing)
    心​ Shin (Heart-Mind)

  7. #7

    How do I help someone who is hurting a lot?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jishin View Post
    Feel her pain. Hurt with her. Right action will then appear.
    Hello

    I defiantly agree with this. See the world through her eyes. Then you will find her answer. She would be receptive to her own thoughts

    I hope that helps even a little

    Gassho
    James

  8. #8
    Such wise advice here. Yes, I would not worry so much about Zen books right now, as much as just being present for her and guiding her toward some professional help.

    We will sit Zazen this week for here and all such suffering friends.

    Gassho, Jundo
    ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

  9. #9
    Hi Sridevi,

    sending metta for your friend. I'm sorry that you are in this scary situation. It is good that she's reaching out. Here's some info that may be useful:

    http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline...ningsigns.aspx

    If you think she is serious about hurting herself, please do not try to be her only support! Reach out for professional help. This is not a betrayal of her confidence, but the act of a friend.

    Gassho
    Lisa

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