I was going to post in the above thread, but I didn't want to go off-topic.
I used to be very anxious if anyone I cared for was in pain, emotional and/ or physical. I would appear withdrawn and sometimes say inappropriate things because of the stress. Sometimes, I still do. I caught myself going into old bad habits last night as I was comforting a friend who has lost a pet cat.
However, I have noticed a change in my self-talk when these situations occur. Actually, the change is more like a lack of self-talk. I am learning to be still and compassionate with people in these types of situations now, which is comforting. I have learned that I used to fear bad things happening not only because of the obvious, but also because I was afraid of how I would react. Now that I have started to react less from within myself, I have a less fear.
I'm pretty sure this is practice at work, so I bow to you all.
Gassho and metta