Split thread - sloth & the motivated buddhist
[JUNDO NOTE: SPLIT FROM OUR "NURTURING SEEDS PRACTICE" THREAD http://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showt...Seeds-PRACTICE ]
I appreciate that this thread is now quite old but I do have a continuous frustration in my life that has a great hold over me. I have been reading from books, surfing the net and u-tube in particular to find help to overcome what could be seen, from the list of bad seeds above, as sloth. I will also call it procrastination, a lack of will, desire for life and generally not knowing a true purpose. Generally I am quite active for periods of time, but find myself, when faced with things that need doing; e.g studying for a part-time degree that I'm struggling with, going to Karate training, training at home, that I am frustrated and lack motivation to continue hence I don't do anything and can't face making progress. I wonder if I am aiming for the right things in life and from this feel weak and without drive and commitment. This results in very low self-esteem, having no direction and purpose.
From the list I suppose I am growing fear, discontent, sloth, sadness and frustration. I don't know how to cultivate the positive seeds without direction and purpose. I have a great family and I know I want to be strong and loving for them, but I need to find respect and love for myself. Every time I try to make a renewed effort to do things to change I over complicate (by writing lists of how I should change) and end up in failure and frustration which leads to passing my days in procrastination and sloth, and not doing anything positive.
Read a quote by an old Indian philosipher today that affected me.
"Self control will place one among the gods, while lack of it will lead to deepest darkness".
Last edited by Jundo; 04-30-2014 at 03:22 AM.