Results 1 to 16 of 16

Thread: On Wandering

  1. #1

    On Wandering

    Some time ago I quietly departed Treeleaf. Not because of anything that happened, nor anything that was said, but because I had learned of a local Soto Zen Sangha in my city and thought it a good idea to try and practice in a non-virtual setting. I had also fallen behind on the forums and my participation was waning, so I felt a fresh start was in order.

    Sitting quietly in a Zendo with others is a wonderful experience. The resident priest is a wonderful man, and I felt part of their community. As time went on I wasn't able to go as much as I'd wanted due to it's location in the city to where I both live and work. Again I found myself sitting at home, not able to make Zazen at the Zendo nor any of the Saturday Dharma talks. This carried on for a while, but again I found myself feeling like I needed more then my quiet corner.

    I spent some time in reflection, trying to decide why it was hard for me to find my place, why I so discontent. I found myself going back and forth. Do I want to try the Zendo again? Do I want to just sit alone? What should I do? I found myself in paralysis by analysis and for months did nothing.

    In that space of indecision, my personal life had stress introduced in the way of a home move to another part of town closer to work, and even further from the Zendo. I tried to ground myself by re-reading "Zen Mind, Beginners Mind". It was then that I realized I had filled my mind with noise and non-sense. I had fabricated problems that didn't exist, and built walls that weren't there. I trapped myself in an invisible prison, and for no reason.

    That night I took my zafu in to my room and sat for the soul purpose of sitting. When I sat, I sat with the local Zendo, I sat with all of you at Treeleaf, I sat with all beings everywhere. I wasn't here, nor there. Online, or offline. I just was until there wasn't even an "I" anymore. Getting up from that sit I realized that I had even made up the idea that I was wandering at all, while looking for where to sit. I hadn't actually gone anywhere.

    In fact, I hadn't even left home.

    So with all that said, I figured I would come and say "hi", since I've been here all along, just quiet.

    "Hi."
    _/\_
    Jigetsu

  2. #2
    Treeleaf Unsui Shugen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Redding California USA
    Hello Jigetsu.

    Gassho


    Shugen
    Meido Shugen
    明道 修眼

  3. #3
    Hi Jigetsu,

    Wonderful! I would just say that there is nothing to "fall behind on the forums" or anywhere in this practice. In fact, you cannot "fall behind" anywhere in this practice ... or "fall behind" in Buddha ... yet we practice diligently!

    Nor is it an either/or proposition of being here or being there, going here or going there. Go here, go there too ... and all is here and no coming or going. Sometimes come here, sometimes be somewhere else ... all "here".

    So, you seem to finally have gotten the point:

    I had fabricated problems that didn't exist, and built walls that weren't there. I trapped myself in an invisible prison, and for no reason.

    That night I took my zafu in to my room and sat for the soul purpose of sitting. When I sat, I sat with the local Zendo, I sat with all of you at Treeleaf, I sat with all beings everywhere. I wasn't here, nor there. Online, or offline. I just was until there wasn't even an "I" anymore. Getting up from that sit I realized that I had even made up the idea that I was wandering at all, while looking for where to sit. I hadn't actually gone anywhere.

    In fact, I hadn't even left home.
    You have never left home.

    Gassho, J
    ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

  4. #4
    Zen is one of those things that is always around us! You just have to let it be there as it is.

    With that being said,
    Hello too!

    Gassho,
    Heion

  5. #5
    "Hi"

    Gassho

    MyoHo
    Mu

  6. #6
    Eishuu
    Guest
    Hi,

    My mind is very prone to such nonsense too. :-)

    Gassho
    Lucy

  7. #7
    Hi

    just sit there and everywhere
    Here, there and everywhere.

    Adapted from Beatles song



    Kind regards. /\
    _/_
    Rich
    MUHYO
    無 (MU, Emptiness) and 氷 (HYO, Ice) ... Emptiness Ice ...

    https://instagram.com/notmovingmind

  8. #8
    Hello,




    Gassho,
    Myosha
    "Recognize suffering, remove suffering." - Shakyamuni Buddha when asked, "Uhm . . .what?"

  9. #9
    Hello Jigetsu, home is where you are in the moment and I welcome you home.

    Gassho,
    Heishu


    “Blessed are the flexible, for they never get bent out of shape." Author Unknown

  10. #10
    You never really left, but anyway, Hi again And you never ceased to practice, even if not sitting

    Gassho
    Thank you for your practice

  11. #11
    Joyo
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Heion View Post
    Zen is one of those things that is always around us! You just have to let it be there as it is.


    Gassho,
    Heion
    This is so insightful!! Welcome back Jigetsu, my mind is also prone to such nonesense, sitting on the cushion, and "sitting" in real life has definitely helped to just let that all go. But, I have to do it again and again and again and again

    Gassho,
    Joyo

  12. #12
    Mp
    Guest
    Hello and hello again Jigetsu. =)

    Gassho
    Shingen

  13. #13
    Hi Jigetsu!
    Falling behind on any of this is a just a trap I often set for myself quite often. virtual or real, we will still find ways to fall behind!
    Thank you for the reminder to get over my non sense

    Gassho
    Shohei

  14. #14
    Thank you both Jigetsu and Jundo... I needed to read this today ... wonderful!

    Gassho,
    Alex


    Quote Originally Posted by Jundo View Post
    Hi Jigetsu,

    Wonderful! I would just say that there is nothing to "fall behind on the forums" or anywhere in this practice. In fact, you cannot "fall behind" anywhere in this practice ... or "fall behind" in Buddha ... yet we practice diligently!

    Nor is it an either/or proposition of being here or being there, going here or going there. Go here, go there too ... and all is here and no coming or going. Sometimes come here, sometimes be somewhere else ... all "here".

    So, you seem to finally have gotten the point:



    You have never left home.

    Gassho, J

  15. #15
    Thank you for sharing your experience Jigetsu and for everyone's comments. I can see wanting to be part of a "REAL life Zendo", or to just experience that, but I think there is something to be said for the opportunities to learn and share in this format as well. Regardless of where you find yourself NOW; all just steps on the path. Nice to be with you Now.

    Gassho
    C

  16. #16
    Thank you Jigetsu. I found that this post resonated with me very much.

    Gassho,

    Simon

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •