I have been noticing lately that when my mind is clear (e.g. after a good sitting session) a lot of my decisions seem to be rather automatic and/or I do not spend too much time analyzing the situation before an action takes place. Conversely, when I am under pressure and/or I have to make an important decision (at work for example) my mind seems to prefer a different “route” and start analyzing and re-analyzing the situation. This thinking process consists of, basically, me talking (quietly and in my head) to myself. I keep noticing that while most of the time I think in terms of “I should do this; I have to modify that; I need to change this; etc.”, some other times I use the second person as in “you should do this; you have to modify that; you need to change this; etc.”. I am sure we all go through the same process, but doesn’t it sound crazy when we put it in words? If we “increased the volume” a bit and started talking out loud to ourselves we would be considered to be plain crazy, or strange at the very least.

So…let me ask you:
Do you need to verbalize a thought in order to really understand a concept and make a sound decision? Most animals don’t.
Do you often experience this “Me”, “Myself” and “I” split/division even after years of Zazen?

Thanks,

A.