The blasted, nagging, loud inner voice while meditating
Does anyone else find a persistent, nonstop inner voice bothering them while sitting? Much of my job day-to-day is reading, analyzing, forming an opinion and writing, so I have a clear, articulate and logical narrative like someone speaking, only in my mind.
When I sit, it overrides much else of what's going on. While imagery, memories and feelings arise, they clear out pretty quickly as I focus on my breathing. But the voice is constant, like a tap with a broken faucet, or a talk radio station you can't turn off, and louder than everything else. It's never really bothered me before, and doesn't as I go about ordinary life. In fact, I've always felt it was an asset.
But as I've become more aware of my inner life through the process of zazen, I find I -- whatever that "I" may be, I'm not sure -- am getting frustrated, and that frustration is manifesting itself in resistance and judgement, even though I don't want it to. Presumably, I'd ideally just let the voice run without judgment while sitting, but it never seems to talk itself out. It seems inexhaustible. If I'm awake, the voice is running. When I sit, the voice is running.
So, any advice from more experienced meditators would be most welcome. By all means, sit me down on Buddha's couch and have at it.
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