Over the past few weeks, while I've been distracted by school, food, intoxicants and social networking, a feeling has been growing. Intuition has been whispering to me, saying that there must be a period of intense practice and study; though mostly practice. After realizing that, I of course fell into future thought, my monkey mind not wanting to give up its bananas. "Sure, that sounds great. I'll do it after I get this part in the book I'm writing done," or, "Maybe I'll wait until the weather is nice again and I can sit outside." The problem with this kind of thinking is, of course, that there is only ever now. So, I've decided to go ahead and dive right in. Currently, life seems to lack discipline. I went from sitting regularly to sporadically, and that just won't do. I've talked about Zen, read about Zen, intellectually understand the concepts therein, but that's all just shadows when compared to practice.
That being said, I'm going to begin rising before the sun, joining in on the early morning sits on Google+. I am letting go of Facebook, and will only use the computer for school, studying, and to sit and talk with the Sangha. I currently have a cigarette habit, so I'm cutting down to five each day, and then I'll see where that leads. I don't feel the need to do this to achieve anything (for what is there gain or lose?), but I am compelled nonetheless. Anyway, just thought I'd share this with you. Not sure how long this personal Ango will last, but intuition is guiding me into it, so I'm trusting that it will also let me know when it has passed. Much love and kindness to you all!