I just read a quote from John Daido Loori in 'Cave of Tigers' that speaks to where I am at the moment:
"As your practice continues and you follow the path studying the self, the path on which the self encounters the self - where water sees water - it is increasingly more and more difficult to hide from yourself. You can't sit with yourself every morning, every afternoon, every evening and continue to deceive yourself for very long. You can do it for a year, a couple of years - and some people do - but sooner or later, there will be no place to hide. It comes up and you see it. And either you correct it or you run away from it, one or the other. Either atonement or separation."
-- Cave of Tigers p232.
Sometimes it is easier, at least in the short term, not to have that awareness.Now I have seen how things are,something needs to be done. Continuing to react in the same way will just produce the same unwanted result(s). Seeing and acting are two different things, though!