Originally Posted by
Taigu
Indeed, Kojip. You see, I have a daughter and since she is ten I saw her twice. I haven't seen her for seven years ( she is in her twenties now), haven't heard about her for about two years and I carry this absence-presence as a huge weight sometimes. The reasons are too common in England, mothers have all rights, fathers none: backed up by law, my very angry ex wife and the "good friends" around manipulated the truth and presumably painted a very dark portrait of the bloke. My daughter quickly declared she did not want to see me, dropped my name to pick up her mother7s name, stopped any connection with her grandmother...Yes I left home at the time, yes I had somebody else was in my life, yes... and yet, the reality of what was taking place at home made it necessary for me to leave. I wanted so much to save my relationship to my daughter and instead, I have lost her. I also lost my job, most of my would be friends then, everything I had and ended up in Sainsburys stacking shelves after having been a Universty professor. My adopted son, Masato, will tell what kind of guy I am. He seems to like me a lot and we are having a wonderful time together.My daughter is living under the spell of other people's malicious and ignorant nature, disguised of course in the most spiritual, friendly, loving ways.
I have no grudge. I don't hate these people. Ignorance is the core of it all. I love my daughter but I have given up any hope of meeting her again. She is like in another world and yet living with me everyday. I have done my part of counselling and worked on that. She might have to do it if her pride and arrogance don't get too much in the way. So... Parenting? Attached-detached and heartbroken sometimes. It is okay.
One more thing, Kyonin, I never wanted to intoxicate my daughter with religion, always respected were she was born and never shared any of my practice or aspect of my faith...unlike her mother who pushed her to Church for years every sunday, imposed Christian beliefs mixed up with a strange spiritual mixture that goes under the name of Anthroposophy, decided that she would go to a Waldorf School where I had to teach to partly pay for the ridiculously high fees...I would still do the same, not interfere. I don't talk about Buddhism at home, don't show Masato anything about it. I leave it to him to discover what works for him. He can see the effect of Buddhism if any "live", in my interaction with him. That's my way, you see I am a f..... French guy as my ex wife served me one day. Yep. I agree. And if you want to share Buddhism with your kids, that's okay too.
gassho
Taigu