BOOK OF EQUANIMITY - Case 43
Case 42 never ends, yet now comes ...
Case 43: Razan's Arising and Vanishing
Shishin's Commentary sets it straight, so no need to explain much.
I was living with the Koan the last few weeks. One night, bad chest pains and shortness of breath sent me to the emergency. There was no sign of a heart attack, but the doctor considered heart problems or (if I understood correctly) liver cancer. Sent me for a Cat Scan, and I was left waiting a week for the results.
All these years of Zen Practice, yet my mind turned to images of my wife a widow and my kids fatherless. Watching the Chemo-therapy scenes on 'Breaking Bad', I imagined myself sitting there. A few years ago, I was a hospice worker, and considered that maybe it was my turn. OH, THE MIND DOES TEND TO RUN AT SUCH TIMES!!
But such is to be human ... until we are all Buddhas Beyond All I suppose.
Yet also, there was Such beyond and right through coming and going. No Arising No Vanishing as nothing less than all arising and vanishing. Timeless that washes through words like "infinite" or finite" ... Timeless and all time heard in each passing tick of the clock.
By the way, the test came out okay ... so, seems I have a little more time in this world (assuming I don't get hit by a bus in the meantime!) [happy]
QUESTION: Has Zen Practice allowed you to experience the Timeless amid the change, impermanence and endings of your life ... meeting "No Arising No Vanishing" right at the heart of a moment of arising and vanishing in your life?