Originally Posted by
Fugu
Eric,
During the course of two short years I had a serious accident, lost my job and my husband left me. I had to put all 4 of my horses down. Then, a 15 year old boy poisoned my four big, beautiful dogs, one by one. He admitted it and bragged about it to everybody in town. But, since he was 15, he could not be charged without both his parent's permission. So nothing was done. This culminated in a suicide attempt which was very nearly successful.
For years I was in shock. I just couldn't believe it. But, as time went by, I began to really look at my feelings and figure out what is was about them that made me love them so. I said "Lee, what do you really believe in?" I worked my way thru religion, philosophy, cosmology and neuroscience and what finally came out was simple: I believe in dogs. I believe in looking into a dog's (or horses) eyes and seeing the awareness of that void look back at you. And you know you are not alone.
I thought about the characteristics and qualities that had made them so special. I realized that if those qualities had meant so much to me, maybe I could encourage the same ones in me, and be able to then give them to other people, as the dogs had given to me.
There is no easy answer to this. You will hurt. I can only quote Dr. Suess: "Don't cry because it is gone, smile because it happened."
Gassho,
Lee