When I was sitting zazenkai today, I kept resonating on what Taigu said in the "Zen and Catholicism" thread that you can't leave THIS.
It's impossible; you are THIS. THIS is you. I don't know, I do have a habit of stating the obvious so bear with me :)
I started thinking about the Heart Sutra, that Sangha and Individual could be substituted for Form and Emptiness, and that illustrates our basic nature of suffering between groups and individuals. Groups threaten the self because we feel we'll lose something of ourselves. But that's impossible too. We are who we are. Fight or flight. Sometimes we want to run. I want to run from this practice, I want to quit it because it's getting too close for comfort sometimes. But fortunately I realize that that is just continuing the same cycle which brought me here. Trying to do the impossible with expectations of peace is going to lead to more suffering.
Sangha is the Individual,
The Individual is the Sangha.
Sangha is Sangha.
Individual is Individual.
I am Treeleaf, Treeleaf is me. I can't leave what I am. But just because Treeleaf is me does not mean that I can wear by badge of a Zen practitioner (e.g. the Rakusu) and sit like a zombie on a pillow. That Rakusu is the Buddha but I have to realize that by taking what I learn here, chewing on it and practicing it day in and day out. THen I realize that I am Treeleaf.
Like Dogen said in Genjokoan, "Just because the nature of wind is ever present does not mean you don't need to fan yourself". Likewise, just because this Sangha is me and Iam this Sangha, it doesn't mean diddly if I'm not doing my homework.
Anyway, just some post zazenkai things.
Thank you Sangha and Teachers for your constant teaching :)
Gassho,
Risho
